By Jennifer Allen
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I first connected with Ashlee Homer on social media a few years ago when she was searching for resources for her daughter, Vika, who has a limb difference. Since then, I’ve been fortunate enough to have her as a local mom friend. Whether it’s bringing me coffee during hospital stays, checking in during major life events, or offering encouragement through quick Instagram messages, Ashlee has been a constant source of kindness and support.
Over the past few years, I’ve been able to watch with open jaw as she has grown in boldness, not only in what she’s able to do with Vika but also in her advocacy for her daughter and others. She shared the following on a quick phone call between feeding our kids dinner and getting them ready for bed.
Ashlee’s story
“We decided to adopt a child who had some sort of medical need since my background was pediatric nursing,” Ashlee said. “We got pictures and videos, and it was just kind of an instant connection. Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia reviewed her file and photos to help us understand her diagnosis and what we’d need to have ready. By the time she came home, we already had a pediatrician appointment lined up, along with hematology and other specialists.”
Similar to most medical mom stories, “Vika’s need were much more profound than what we were prepared for” Ashlee shared. “You don’t want to see your child struggle or in pain. We immediately focused on getting her the services she needed—physical therapy, occupational therapy, specialists—so she could have the best possible start.” In addition to a limb difference, Vika has TAR – a rare bleeding disease. She’s also had medical needs that haven’t been obviously linked to any of her diagnosis.
Adapting to a new normal
Vika joined the Homer family at 23 months old. In addition to learning how to parent a toddler, Ashlee had to figure out how to support her daughter’s unique needs. “We went from no children to having a two-year-old with disabilities who didn’t speak or understand our language. It was definitely hard to figure out how to help her,” she shared. “We knew that every three months in a less-than-ideal situation put her one month behind developmentally, so we had to prioritize catching her up with therapies and services.” Four months in, Ashlee’s journey took another turn when she became a single mom. Her husband’s departure added another layer of complexity to an already constantly evolving landscape.
Moving beyond the challenges
Amid the medical appointments and therapies, Ashlee worked hard to create moments of joy and fun for her family. Adjusting to staying home full-time was a big shift, but she found accessible, low-cost ways to explore with Vika. “We started looking for free ways to get out of the house.” Playgrounds and libraries were the perfect starting point. Music groups and other library programs offered inclusive spaces for interacting with other kids.
As Vika grew older, Ashlee began to find structured activities that suited her needs. “She wanted to join Girl Scouts with a friend from another school, and it was perfect because it wasn’t super physical,” Ashlee explained. “One time, we went on a hike, and while the trail wasn’t very accessible, there was a boardwalk area she could explore. That kind of creative planning has always been part of how we approach activities.”
It doesn’t have to be complicated. The more I interact with disability moms, the more I see this life example – start small and build from there. Get out and find things that bring you joy – then you can work to adapt those things as you go. Having a community working alongside you, like Vika’s girl scout troop, makes the journey that much better. Last year was little adventures for Ashlee and Vika, but Ashlee says “We’re making 2025 the year of fun things since we missed out on ten months of traveling due to surgeries. Disney for the first time, hand camp, and Yogi Jellystone cabin camping.”
Simple Adaptations with a Big Impact
Ashlee has become resourceful in adapting their home and daily life to meet Vika’s needs. “We’ve used light switch extenders, faucet extenders, and step stools to make things more accessible,” she said. “For school, I cut a pool noodle to fit in the back of her desk so her things wouldn’t get stuck beyond her reach. It was a simple, 99-cent solution.”
Online communities and resources have been a vital source of ideas and support for Ashlee. She mentioned groups like the Lucky Fin Project and the TAR Syndrome Facebook group as invaluable spaces for finding guidance and adaptive tools. “As Vika gets older, she’s able to tell me what would be helpful,” Ashlee said, sharing how her daughter’s input has shaped creative solutions, like using bottles of soap instead of wall-mounted dispensers at school. She also highlighted Hand Camp in Florida, a transformative experience for kids with upper limb differences, where they discovered adaptive instruments and other tools to foster independence.
Travel Tips for Families with Disabilities
When it comes to traveling, Ashlee focuses on preparation and flexibility. “I try to plan ahead and figure out what we can do rather than focusing on the barriers,” she said. “It’s important to look at the destination and think, ‘Can she do this? Will this be a good experience for her?’”
One memorable moment for Ashlee came during a hay tractor ride at a local farm. The ride wasn’t designed with accessibility in mind, but Ashlee’s resourcefulness and kind people willing to help made it possible. “I asked the people at the farm, ‘If I hold the wheelchair up, can you stick it on the tractor, and I’ll handle her?’ and that’s what we did,” she recalled. “Last year, I got good at accepting help—something I don’t think we always do as moms. We think, ‘We’ve got this,’ but sometimes you can’t do it all, and that’s okay.”
Social media is a great place for disability travel tips and inspiration. Ashlee follows Wonders Within Reach for accessible destinations that may be easier to visit because of their focus on inclusion. The Rolling Explorer is an advocate and influencer with a limb difference who has shared a lot of helpful insight.
Through it all, Ashlee’s goal remains clear: to help Vika experience as much of life as possible. “She just wants to be like every other kid, and I want her to feel like she can participate and belong wherever we go.”