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By Christine E. Staple Ebanks, The Special Needs Mama Bear
How I turned fear and confusion into strength—and why you’re already doing the same.
In the last issue, I introduced you to the Special Needs Mama Bear—the fierce, unwavering advocate we become when the world doesn’t know what to do with our children or with us. But before the roaring and rising comes something quieter. Something harder.
Before we become advocates, negotiators, and system navigators… we’re just parents. Often overwhelmed, under-supported, and left to figure it all out on our own.
As mothers, we’re told our eyes should see possibility in our babies. Wonder. Joy. The sparkle of discovery. We’re told to dream of all that could be.
But for many of us, that isn’t how it begins.
When my son Nathan was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at nine months, my eyes were retrained. I stopped seeing his spirit and started seeing medical reports, sterile clinics, therapy schedules, and worst-case outcomes. I fixated on the “dis” in disability—missing the undeniable will and brilliance of my child right in front of me.
His diagnosis didn’t just shape my thoughts—it consumed them. Every toy had to serve a developmental purpose. Every book needed sensory features. Every conversation became clinical, focused on what was lacking—not what delighted. The avalanche of diagnosis buried my child beneath it.
Maybe you’ve felt that too—that slow erasure of joy under the weight of responsibility.
If so, let me say this clearly:
You are not failing.
You are carrying more than most can imagine.
And you are not alone.
Here’s what no one tells you: there’s no manual for this. No step-by-step guide to therapies, school meetings, or emotional landmines. There’s just you—and your child.
But here’s what I learned:
Every moment of confusion became a catalyst.
Every hard-earned answer built something inside me.
And eventually, I became the expert.
For twenty years, I’ve been a student of this life. I dove into every training I could find—early intervention, inclusive education, system design. I wasn’t chasing credentials. I was chasing answers. But along the way, I earned a Master’s degree in Human Services, focused on creating inclusive systems for families like mine.
Because my son needed me to know.
And because I knew I wasn’t the only one.
Specialists bring their training. But we—parents—are the experts on our children. We know their rhythms, quirks, cues. We speak their language when no one else can. We coax smiles through meltdowns. We translate gestures into conversations.
Still, no one trains us for this.
So we improvise.
We make it up as we go.
And still—we rise.
One moment that solidified this for me: a respected Jamaican pediatrician read my book How to Cope: Parenting a Child with Special Needs. Afterward, he said, “Until I read your book, I never truly understood what special needs mothers go through. I thought I did. But I didn’t.”
His training had prepared him to diagnose—but not to see the parent behind the diagnosis. Our lived stories changed that.
That’s what this movement is about.
We weren’t given tools.
We built them.
And now, we’re passing them on.
I’m creating the Special Needs Mama Bear Playbook—a practical, heart-led resource shaped by real life. It’s not theory—it’s wisdom earned through experience. Because we deserve more than just survival. We deserve to thrive.
Just as important as the guide is community.
Too many of us have walked this road believing no one could understand. But we’re out here—wise, weary, hopeful, strong. We come from different countries and cultures, but we’re united by love, resilience, and the knowing that our families deserve the best life has to offer.
That’s the vision for the Special Needs Mama Bear Community—a space to lift each other up, share what we’ve learned, and grow stronger together.
Because here’s the truth:
If you’re raising a child with special needs, you are already becoming the expert.
Your love, your persistence, your every “figuring it out” is shaping not just your child’s life—but the systems around them.
No one gave me a guide.
So I became one.
And now, I’m writing the guide we all deserve.
You’ll be the first to know when the Playbook is ready. In the meantime, let’s stay connected.
You’ll be the first to know when the Playbook is ready. In the meantime, let’s stay connected.
Follow me
@thespecialneedsmamabear
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For updates and encouragement. And if this article spoke to your heart, share it with another mama who might need it.
Like bears in the wild, we are stronger together. Let’s celebrate our victories and advocate for a more inclusive world for our children.
Email me at: contact@thespecialneedsmamabear.com
Let’s build it together.
Author Bio: Christine E. Staple Ebanks is an award-winning author, international speaker, and advocate for children with disabilities. She is the founder of Raising Special Needs Inc. and the Special Needs Mama Bear Empowerment Movement. Through her books, workshops, and online community, she empowers parents to find their voice, build capacity, and create thriving lives alongside their children with special needs.