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When we think of role models, we often picture people who’ve achieved great things and are good at making wealth. We aspire to be successful business leaders, celebrities, innovators, artists, athletes, scientists, philanthropists, public figures, and even social media influencers who are well-known and celebrated for their accomplishments. But how often do we recognize the value of diversity in role models, including people with disabilities?
Take my son Nathan, for example. He’s the most courteous and courageous person I know. From the moment he was conceived, he’s been fighting for his right to live. Diagnosed with a congenital birth defect at five months gestation, he came into the world ready to battle. Immediately after birth, he was separated from me and underwent major corrective surgery at just three days old. He spent the first 28 days of his life in the hospital, with 20 of those days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Even after coming home, he faced numerous challenges, including failure to thrive and global developmental delays. By the time he was nine months old, he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
Today, Nathan is a twenty-year-old young man who exudes unparalleled joy in life despite the challenges he has faced and continues to face. He greets every day with boundless energy and excitement. He gifts everyone he passes with a big, warm smile that makes them feel like long-lost friends. Many people respond, blissfully surprised, thinking they must have known him before.
I remember taking Nathan to a dentist’s appointment once, where he saw another big kid in a wheelchair. He got so excited, waving and voicing his unique brand of “hello,” which to those who know him sounds like “el-oo.” The other young man’s accompanying adults waved back and engaged Nathan, exciting him even more. Afterward, the young man’s mom asked me how they knew each other. She was visibly shocked when I explained that they didn’t know each other and that Nathan was simply that friendly and warm.
While I consider myself warm towards people, Nathan’s brand of warmth takes engaging with others to a new level. For example, when I’m out and about, if I go on public transport and sit beside someone, my upbringing dictates that I say good morning or afternoon. If I perceive the person as approachable, I will likely say hello. But if I see them as unapproachable, shyness and insecurity kick in, and I will not do so.
Take, for example, a recent morning walk in my community. I saw a younger man walking in the opposite direction, doing his morning walk. I had never seen him before, and thus, my mind started arguing with my heart about whether to bid him good morning. It didn’t help that he was staring right past me with what I perceived as an unapproachable countenance. So, I chickened out and walked right by him. But this didn’t sit well with my heart. I kicked myself for not showing courtesy and letting my perception color my actions.
That was when I thought, “What would Nathan do?” In my mind’s eyes, I see his response: Grinning from ear to ear, waving his hand, bouncing in excitement in his wheelchair, looking squarely at the person, and voicing his “el-oo.” For Nathan, it doesn’t matter how unapproachable the individual seems (to me); that doesn’t stop him from showing love and bringing joy to the world. I thought about how much more pleasant the world would be if we took a page from Nathan’s book and took the time to greet each other. This simple connection could help us see that we have more in common than what divides us. It’s incredible how a small gesture like a smile or a greeting can bridge gaps, break down barriers, and remind us of our shared humanity. If we all embraced this mindset, we could foster community and belonging wherever we go.
Then, I got my second chance. I spotted the young man again, and as we walked by each other, I smiled, waved, and said, “Good morning.” To my delight, he smiled and returned the greeting. This simple exchange lifted my spirits and reaffirmed the power of human connection. The ‘feel good’ feeling stayed with me all day, and I went about my day with a smile. The ripple effect was that other people smiled back at me as I passed by them. I realized then that I was spreading positivity to those around me.
This caused me to reflect on how Nathan’s ability to connect with people, regardless of their disposition, teaches us valuable lessons about humanity and the simple acts that can make a profound difference in our daily lives. We live in a world where people often see the outward appearance first, which can make us defensive if we perceive someone looking at us differently. I love that Nathan doesn’t judge people based on appearance or demeanor or even how they may look at him. He looks beyond the surface and sees the person within. This is a powerful reminder to look past our preconceived notions and judgments, recognizing that everyone we meet is fighting their battles and carrying their burdens. We open ourselves to understanding, compassion, and genuine connection by seeing the person, not the perception.
Here are three lessons we can all learn from Nathan:
Embrace everyone with a smile.
Nathan’s smile is his superpower. It’s his way of saying, “I see you, and you matter.” A smile can break down barriers and create instant connections. It transcends ability, race, ethnicity, language, culture, and circumstance. When we smile at someone, we acknowledge their presence and affirm their worth. This simple gesture can turn a stranger into a friend and a moment of silence into a shared experience of joy.
See the person, not the perception.
Nathan doesn’t judge people based on appearance, demeanor, or how they may look at him. He looks beyond the surface and sees the person within. This is a powerful reminder to look past our preconceived notions and judgments, recognizing that everyone we meet is fighting their battles and carrying their burdens. We open ourselves to understanding, compassion, and genuine connection by seeing the person, not the perception.
Spread joy and love unconditionally.
Nathan’s interactions are characterized by unconditional joy and love. He doesn’t wait for someone to smile at him first; he takes the initiative. This proactive approach to spreading positivity can have a ripple effect, transforming our mood and atmosphere. When we choose to spread joy and love unconditionally, we create a world where kindness and warmth become the norm rather than the exception.
We’re into summer and the best travel months of the year, if you are like me, where you gauge others’ countenance and demeanor before deciding to engage, draw your inspiration from Nathan’s approach to life. His way of being offers hope and inspiration in a world that often feels divided and disconnected. Imagine if each of us approached every day and every person with genuine joy and enthusiasm. Picture taking the time to truly connect with others and see them for who they are beyond our initial perceptions. Just think about the kind of world we could help create by embracing these meaningful actions. Think of Nathan the next time you’re hesitant to greet a stranger or reach out to someone. A warm smile and the ability to see beyond first impressions can spread joy and make the world a better place, benefiting all of us.
Do you have someone in your life who inspires you, especially someone with special needs? I’d love to hear from you. Until next time, take care!
